Today I was asked out for the first time in my new, single incarnation.  The asker was a trashy drunkard.  He repeatedly demanded my phone number, until finally I agreed to take his.

“Are you going to call me?”  posited the trashy drunkard.

“No.” I said.

I then looked at the flip side of the business card on which the never-to-be-dialed number was scrawled.

“Hey, is this your lawyer’s business card?”  I inquired.

“Yes!” replied the drunkard.  “He is a great lawyer.  He got my brother off for murder!”

All I was trying to do was have a couple of beers on a hot Friday afternoon while waiting for a train, and what I got was an anecdote.  Thank you, trashy drunkard, and godspeed.