There is this art festival going on outside, which is a departure from the usual silence or Mexicans talking or fire station sirens or police station sirens. I drove out to my mother’s house this evening and then back again. It was a perfect summery night for a drive through some empty space. On the way home, I prepared myself to be impressed when the city lights came into view but then I forgot to notice. I only remembered when I was parking the car. I think I must have been distracted by a live version of “I’ve Seen All Good People” by Yes being played on the radio.
July 11 marks the anniversary of my arrival in Chicago. On this day, I will drive with my mother and my boyfriend to Madison, Wisconsin. I will note my reaction to the town and campus and determine if they are places I’d like to live and study, respectively.
Suddenly it’s muggy and I wasted an hour at the unemployment office this afternoon. I was reading a play and mostly successfully blocking out the noises of people and place, when the older European man sitting next to me questioned me about my glasses tattoo. I didn’t feel much up to chat, so I did my best to avoid his queries. Finally he remarked that it’s a lucky thing I only have the one tiny tattoo. Oh what dresses and cardigan sweaters will cover!
Already eagerly anticipating fall makes me feel a little ashamed, but there it is.
It was a good day, this day, after a string of bad ones filled with laze/malaise. Things feel hard right now but there are a couple of important constants which keep it all on the rails. I see people carrying fresh cut flowers from the farmer’s market and they seem like such a decadent expenditure.
It rained on the 4th of July.
There are a lot of lightning bugs now, suddenly. Not as many as when I was a kid but that’s to be expected, I think, in these times. Walking around at night is sort of a dreamy experience, especially in Ravenswood because there are so many large trees and other plants. In Logan Square it’s interesting to see the wacky siding people have on their shoddy houses and to smell their barbeques.
Some days I need to remind myself that I have a really amazing partner. Finally the word can be used. Take it for granted I must not do.
I wish someone would walk into this room right now with a piping hot tray of breakfast things. Toast and eggs and maybe some cantaloupe, as well. While I wish, I sit with dirty feet and drink a concoction of almond milk and concentrated coffee with laundry churning away in the basement.
I should be interested in the 4th of July. I am not. I keep thinking of 4ths of July past and feeling a bit morose.
